Do you know how hard it is not to scream? The man I want more than anything… doesn’t want me. He tells me that he loves me…but he apparently has no sexual interest in me whatsoever.
I am soooooo mad at him right now. I want to scream at him… don’t you fucking care that you are hurting me with this? What did I do? Why the fuck don’t you want me anymore? Every single day I look at myself in the mirror and try to figure out what I did. What made him detest my touch? what made him crave her instead of me?
Yes I do know about them… SHE told me… she told me that they were active together. So apparently I am the discard… no longer wanted and desired… she is the young ____ he wants. Do you know how hard it is for me not to hate her with every fiber of my being? How hard it is for me not to hate him for all of it?
I love him… so very much… but I NEED to be wanted sexually. I need that part of the relationship as well. He taught me that I deserve someone to love me and want me in every way. Sadly I have learned that he no longer does want me in every way… and I am wrestling with all of it.
